Willing to Love: Relationship tips from various chapters
Anne:
1. Self-awareness matters and it matters a lot.
2. I often say to people who are struggling in a relationship, “Is this
the person you want to do the work with?” ….because sustaining
a long-term relationship does indeed take work.
3. If you are so fortunate to find someone to travel with you, to live
life beside you, with whom you share a core of values, and a
commitment to growing in awareness, to waking up even through
the hard times, don’t lose them. This kind of company is
precious.
Jon:
1. Being “willing to love” means choosing to value the relationship in
all kinds of ways on a daily basis, and then, valuing what we have
chosen through our words and actions.
2. One must learn to “balance the energies in the egg,” that is to say,
we bring a deep presence and loving attention to both the
struggles and joys of the relationship. In this way, the relationship
becomes a path of healing and transformation.
3. Belonging to yourself is a delightful first step. Belonging with
another will take you the rest of the way and the rest of your life.
Judith and Chris:
1. It is our belief that the Self or Soul is non-gendered. If
Psychosynthesis teaches that the soul infuses the personality, it
makes complete sense to us that Self or Soul will have a
multiplicity of expressions of sexuality.
2. Time Together, Playing and Laughter as a vital part of our
relationship. We laugh often and we dance with each other,
occasionally we sing. This has been a theme all through our years
together. We both delight in making the other giggle.
3. We both knew, perhaps for the first time in a relationship, that we
were not going to abandon the other. In time this allowed us to
stop projecting our sense of security onto the other and find it in
ourselves. We are speaking of that indestructible place or space
within that can always be counted on, that place of deep calm,
wisdom and love. Some would call it Higher Self, or Soul—the
label really doesn’t matter, it’s this experience and deep knowing
that underpins our lives together. We know that our relationship
created the ground for us to blossom, grow, deepen the sense of
self, become a more fully realized and self- expressed human
beings.
Judith and Vincent:
1. Use the best tool you have: honest communication.
2. Keep your agreements, or renegotiate them.
3. Be a cheerleader, safe harbor, and show up when the situation
calls for it. The goal is to keep and strengthen the trust that you
have, everything else is gravy. (Maybe an overstatement, but it
gets the point across, without trust there is no relationship.)
Janet
1. Deep listening is important. Learn and practice listening to one
another with stillness and receptivity. Clear your mind of
preconceptions, expectations and mind-chatter. Be a loving
witness to one another.
2. Expect change and embrace it. A long marriage will have changes
that you can’t predict. Enjoy and celebrate the good times–both
partners’ successes and achievements, your adventures, deep
connections, warm family times, and contentment. When things
are more difficult, engage your will to draw on the resources you
need–loyalty, perseverance, skillful means, strength, good will,
and most of all, commitment and intention to care for the
relationship.
3. Do your own inner work. Each of you is responsible for your own
personal and spiritual growth, through meditation, therapy, time
in nature, creativity, or whatever works for you. Love yourself by
doing that work that only you can do.
Cynthia and Walter
1. A long romantic relationship is about companionship. It brings
decades of joy, security, wonder, trust, fun, surprise unfoldings
and discoveries, mutual cushioning, unquestioned support.
2. The surprises, whether hard or wonderful, can open up ever new
possibilities.
3. We evolve, becoming more and more fascinated, delighted,
curious, grateful.
Ilene
1. Cherish your relationship, consciously support each other’s needs
and dreams, and schedule quality time together to stay connected to
the excitement of falling in love, again and again.
2. Encourage each other’s separate activities. They may enrich you as a
couple or simply provide you both with an opportunity to delight in
your partner’s pleasure.
3. Sustain an environment of safety and trust by listening deeply,
fighting fairly, and remembering that you are best friends.